HOWARD:
Penis dimension
EVERYBODY:
Penis dimension is worrying me
I can't hardly sleep at night
'Cause of penis dimension
Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?
Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan ...
That the size of your cock is not monstrous enough?
It's your penis dimension!
Penis dimension!
MARK:
Hiya, friends. Now, just be honest; out it... Did you ever consider the possibility
that YOUR PENIS,
and in the case of many dignified ladies, that the size of the titties themselves
might provide elements
of subconsious tension! Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a human being
to become a politician,
a policeman, a Jesuit Monk, a rock and roll guitar player; a wino . . . you
name it! Or, in the case of the
ladies, the ones who can't afford a silicone beef-up, they become writers of
hot books ...
HOWARD:
". . .Manuel, the gardner, placed his burning phallus in her quivering
quim . . ."
MARK:
Yes, or they become Carmelite Nuns . . .
HOWARD:
". . . Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her
slithering slit..."
MARK:
... or race horse jockeys! There is no reason why you or your loved ones should
suffer.
Things are bad enough without the size of your organ adding even more misery
to the
troubles of the world!
HOWARD:
Right on! Right on!
MARK:
Now, if you're a lady and you've got munchkin tits, you can console yourself
with this
age-old line from primary school:
BOTH:
"ANYTHING OVER A MOUTHFUL IS WASTED."
MARK:
Yes, and isn't it the truth! And if you're a guy and one night you are at a
party and you're
trying to be cool... I mean, you aren't even wearing any underwear you're being
so cool . . .
and somebody hits on you one night and he looks you up and down and he says:
HOWARD:
Eight inches or less?
MARK:
Well, let me tell you, brother, that's the time when you got to turn around
and look the
sonofabitch right between the eyes and you got to tell him these words:
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